6 months 

Aanvi 

It was 1AM. Baby Aadya was crying from the next room. Aanvi and her husband Hriday were listening to see if the cries subside. They had recently started training Aadya to sleep in her own room. 

The doctor had suggested that they practice having the baby sleep in a separate room. This was supposed to help the baby with self-soothing and self-regulating skills. 

Hriday was growing impatient. It’s been a few minutes since baby Aadya started crying. He wanted to go check that she was okay. 

“Don’t go now. If she hears our voice, she will cry harder and we will have to calm her down for an hour. Remember what the doctor said about reacting too soon”, said Aanvi

“Well I am unable to tolerate this. This makes no sense” replied Hriday.

“It’s all for her own good. Oh honey.. don’t feel too bad” said Aanvi soothingly.

“The doctor said that babies don’t cry because they are afraid. They only cry so that they can communicate. Besides, we only need to wait for 2 minutes before soothing her ourselves”, justified Aanvi.

“How do the doctors know what babies think and feel? They don’t even know what grown-ups think and feel. Some graduate comes along and does research to get his or her doctorate. And now Aadu has to cry on her own” bemoaned Hriday.

“I know we only wait for 2 minutes. But does Aadu know that we are waiting to come to her?” continued Hriday. 

Aanvi hugged her husband to calm him down. 

“Oh.. Hriday….. This is all for the good of Aadu. She will be… no… she is a strong person. She can handle anything life has to offer”. 

Baby Aadya

Darkness. Where is God? Afraid. Where is God? Hunger. Where is God? Want… God…. (Constantly wailing)

It has been a long time. Where is God? (wailing)

Darkness. Fear. Need help. Need hug

3 years

“Don’t worry Aadu. You are going to have so much fun at daycare today” said Aanvi.

“I don’t want to go,” cried Aadya. 

She was sitting in her car seat. Mom was driving her to daycare. She was very scared. She does not want to go anywhere away from Mom.

“It’s for your own good baby. You are such a big girl now. See, mummy also has to go to work. Everyone has to do this” replied Aanvi.

They usually played a game during the drive. When she reaches the entrance to daycare, baby Aadya will start crying. A caretaker will take her away. Aadya’s outstretched hands pointing to her mom. With tearful eyes Aanvi will get into the car. Making herself distracted she will drive to work. 

Today was different. Aadhya figured out they were going to daycare and started crying in the car. 

“When you come back home, you are going to get a surprise gift,” replied Aanvi. This calmed Aadhya a little bit. 

“Mummy. Let’s go to the shop now” said Aadya

“Let’s see sweetheart. If the shop is open we will definitely go”. 

This calmed her down.

While dropping her off, Aadya cried a lot. Aanvi was afraid that her daughter would hate her later in life. One thing was certain. She hated herself.

12 years 

“How many times should I tell? You should have started your homework the moment you came back from school” said Aanvi

“Mom. Sorry. I forgot. Can you please help me?” appealed Aadya. 

Her tone carried anger instead of guilt. Aanvi had to teach her basic discipline. She cannot be self-sufficient if she never learns discipline. 

“No Aadu. You have to learn the hard way. Face the problems that come from your sloppiness” replied Aanvi calmly. 

This has to be the moment to teach the value of self reliance. 

Aadya started crying. Aanvi just pretended to not pay attention. 

Aadya was clueless. Mom doesn’t get it. If she doesn’t submit homework today her math teacher will make her stand outside the principal’s room. She was the only girl who would be standing there. Of course those two idiot boys will stand as well. They always stand there. It will be so embarrassing. She wanted to tell mom all of this. But that will make her more mad. She will only double down on getting punished. 

Aadya needed help. She just didn’t know how to ask for it. Why should a daughter ask mother for help? Wouldn’t mom know it is important for daughter and help on her own? Aadya went to her room and cried lying down in the bed. 

Hriday started walking to her room. Aanvi stopped him. “Leave her. I am not sure how to teach her basic things. She has to learn the hard way. She needs to be self-reliant. It’s this hard now. Imagine how a teenager is going to be” said Aanvi irritatedly. 

“But she seems to be crying hard,” replied Hriday.

“Hriday…. I know what I am doing. Okay. Leave it” yelled Aanvi. 

Not sure what to do, Hriday became quiet.

18 years

“Aadu. Who is that boy who was following you home?” Aanvi asked.

“Nobody mom. Leave me alone” replied Aadya

She went to her room and locked the door. Aanvi has been trying to get Aadya to talk to her more about her school and friends. However Aadya was constantly shutting her out.

Hriday consoled her most of the time saying it will be okay once she crosses teenage. Aanvi had lost her parents recently and went into depressed feelings most of the time. Hriday was her shoulder to cry on. 

Aanvi wanted to bond with Aadya the way her mom took care of her. Aanvi remembered long talks she had with her mom during her teen and post teen years. She was another friend of Aanvi. 

When Aanvi met Hriday she told her mom with fear of getting into trouble. However her mom supported her and talked to her dad about their marriage.

Now Aanvi wanted to do the same with Aadya.

Aadya lied down in her bed and closed her eyes. That idiot who kept following her has been making her feel scared. She wanted to handle this herself. She didn’t want to tell her mom. Her mom will only advise that she needs to be strong and that it was her mistake and that’s why all of this is happening. 

She was going to handle it herself. She  was raising the issue to the principal. She will use her friends’ help to even reach the police if needed. She needs to practice self defense if needed. 

35 years

Aanvi

Darkness. Where is Hriday? Where is Aanvi? She slowly got up and walked to the door.

The caretaker came at that moment and brought her back to bed. 

“Where am I?” asked Aanvi

“You are in your home amma” replied caretaker

“Where is Hriday?” 

“He has gone to get medicines. And your daughter is in Australia. She is married and living with her husband there”.

This is a daily ritual for the caretaker. Aanvi had Alzheimer’s. She had forgotten that Hriday died a few years ago. At least her daughter is in Australia. That was true. 

“Don’t tell my daughter I am struggling here. She will feel bad and come back to India. Let her be in Australia and she will be happy” replied Aanvi. 

“Sure amma. She will call today. You can tell her yourself”

Aadya

“I feel bad” said Aadya

“Don’t worry honey. Your mom is fine” replied the husband. 

“She is all alone. What if she is afraid? No. That caretaker is very good. She will make her feel better right ?“ said Aanvi

“Of course. And we are visiting next month. So don’t worry” replied the husband.

She still looked lost. 

“If you want, we can bring her here and take care,” said the husband.

“No. She is strong. She can handle anything’

THE END