Death considered himself vastly misunderstood. He performed an unsightly task, undoubtedly so, but he took no pleasure in it. He was not some sadistic, malicious force prying over men, awaiting their downfall. Rather, he simply caught them as they fell from life and guided them. His sole, sacred duty was that of a guide, a shepherd. The most grievous error that humans made in their reflections of Death, was the omission of the fact that Death mourned each innocent life that slipped from Life’s warm grasp into his own unwilling embrace. He mourned the lost youths and he grieved deepest for those who chose to cast themselves away from life.

Death considered himself a scholar. His area of study: humans. Though he knew that his task was neither evil, nor in any way under his control, he considered his vast studies of mankind’s work to be a kind of penance. He inhaled a multitude of philosophies about him, taking solace in the words of those who did not fear Death, but welcomed him. Death, however, faced a conundrum, for his greatest area of interest, that which he craved to comprehend above all else, was life.

Death remembered little of his inception, simply that one day he’d gained consciousness, looked across the infinite void of nothingness, and gazed upon Life for the first time. He’d met Life herself only that singular instance, when their eyes met across infinity, and she’d understood him without a word spoken. And so, Death sought to understand life, by understanding that which she represented. He decided to go forth on his quest operating under one constant: life has no meaning. The general consensus by humans, from philosophical or scientific standpoints, was that life was meaningless. Death thus decided that he’d simply attempt to understand how and why humans functioned in this absence of meaning. In order to do so, he would venture out into the living realm and live among humans for himself. He’d go to different countries, different strata of society, and seek to understand.

Though it has remained well within my reach to venture out into the living realm, I’ve simply never felt the need to. As I grasp a newly departed soul, I instantly access their whole life in just a second. With the sheer number of freshly deceased every day, I’ve been able to gather a better idea of what goes on in the land of the living than even they do. I do not interact with any humans; I do not require lodging nor sustenance. I do not take a human form; rather I simply allow my essence to roam the Earth- ironically like a ghost. 

From this day forth till whenever my task achieves completion, I will venture into the world which I seek to understand. I have all the time in the world, after all.

I’m sitting at a cafe right now, observing. It’s heartbreakingly absurd to me that a lot of these people might not even be here tomorrow. But for now, I take solace in the fact that they all have food in their stomachs, sun on their skin and companionship in their souls.

A boy is ranting excitedly about some topic that no doubt shines a light to his soul, which shines through in his eyes. I don’t know what it was, but no matter the topic, I would have listened with rapt attention to anything this boy was saying, for what did the topic matter so long as it brought such pure joy into his heart and soul? His friend merely rolls his eyes in a bored manner. “Are you a child?” He asks, jokingly.

Though I did not reap a soul, I swear, that child died a little.

HORRIBLE! IT’S HORRIBLE! I can’t. I’d barely just arrived and they were all gone. I came to observe life, not to perform my duty as Death! The whistling in the air as they rained like hellfire from above, a moment of quiet before a shockwave ripped through the buildings, the land around the bombs and through them. The mother had weariness embedded into her soul, into her body; in the lines around her eyes and the defeatedness of every movement she made. Despite it all, she smiled at her children. They smiled back. There was nothing they could do. I collected their souls immediately, trying not to be overcome with my grief. I think she knew, the mother. I think she heard it just as I did. She still smiled though. And they died with the results of their mother’s best intentions etched on their face. I don’t know if I want to continue if I have to see more of this. I came to sow seeds of understanding, yet here I stand reaping souls.

I’m sitting at the bottom of a tree right now. It has life too. So does the grass. I’m in shock, I suppose. I’ve taken about a week to process what happened. The sun’s setting now. I’ve decided to continue on this venture. After all, the sun may set, but it always rises again.

It’s beautiful, life. I saw a group of friends today. From what I observed, they hadn’t seen each other in months. I watched them all arrive at their decided meeting place, saw the nervousness on their faces, not knowing if things could ever be as they had once been. But the moment they all saw each other, it was gone. No doubt, no worry. Simply slipping into a familiar love that stood the test of time and space. It’s beautiful.

It’s horror.

It’s beauty.

I wish I had a life to end.

I’m glad I get to witness humanity for eternity.

I’ve come to a conclusion: that there is no conclusion, merely a few inalienable truths. From my own meandering experiences observing humans in life, being miserable while having it all and joyous with nothing, I can only share what I’ve learned:

1) As easily as happiness may be wiped away by a bomb, so also may anxiety be wiped away by a familiar gaze of affection.

2) Optimism is not naïveté., nor cynicism wisdom.

3) Humans suffer, and yet, from the pits of their despair, they often pave the way to the peak of their happiness.

4) Kindness is not weakness, nor cruelty strength.


Life holds no guarantee. Humans know me intimately before I must ever guide their souls. Some die many deaths before their eternal slumber. Humans love, and without a doubt in my mind, that is the sole reason that they could ever continue as they do, knowing that I am ever-approaching. To love and to express that love, passion and zeal for life is what it means to live. To love and to lose, is to live and to die.. Life is but a countless cycle of life and death until the time comes to complete the final cycle, and to come to me;