Can I…One Last Time?​ – Savita S S2 Bonus

I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You were just out of your mother’s womb.
Your hands and legs were so little, and your tiny finger pointing at me looked like you passed me an order to
come closer.
I couldn’t resist. Shaking like a leaf, I walked up to you.
I held you in my arms and at that moment, my life had found its purpose.
I promised myself to put you before anyone else and live every moment of my life for you.
Can I hold you just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You were almost turning one when suddenly, you said “Appa”.
I couldn’t believe my ears, I pinched myself until I bled.
The moment I was eagerly looking forward to, was finally here and it was worth the wait.
That minute, I promised myself to be at your disposal, every single time you needed me.
Can I hear you call me just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
Seeing you take your first step was an absolute delight.
Happy and scared at the same time, I came running to you, when you stretched your tiny hand to
hold me.
That second, I promised myself to stand rock solid, every time you needed something to hold on to.
Can you hold me just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You waved at me and turned around running towards your teacher.
The memory of your tiny self, struggling with a bag on your shoulders is still so vivid in my mind.
Holding my breath, I waved at you till you disappeared behind the wooden doors of your classroom.
At that moment, I promised myself to provide you with the best education irrespective of my financial
conditions.
Can I drop you to school just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
Your first day at the University to master the subject of your choice.
You were growing up to be a handsome young man, but in my eyes, you looked like the same little
child walking hand in hand with his teacher on the first day of school.
Will I ever be able to get over that memory?
You were anxious and turned back to look at me. “I’m with you,” I said, that was all you needed.
You walked in with your head held high and I stood there beaming with pride for everything you
were going to be.
That minute, I promised to be your cheerleader for every situation life had in store for you.
Can I reassure you again just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You walked out of the room suited, I was out of words.
Were you the same boy who was so delicate when I held you the first time?
Were you the same boy who cried until I sang lullabies to put you to sleep?
We had a quick recap on how you just cleared your interview and it was already time for your first
day to work.
At that moment, I promised myself to support every dream of yours.
Can I see you suit up just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You sat next to her all set. My joy knew no bounds. I wanted to hold you again, shower you with
hugs and kisses.
It pinched me to accept that you had outgrown my lap, I was unable to comprehend my feeling.
While I was still gathering all my emotions, you tied the three knots to her.
In no time, my little boy, the apple of my eye, was a married man.
That’s when I promised myself to be your best friend, your human diary.
Can I be your best friend just like that, for one last time?
I stood afar, dumbstruck with tears of joy –
You stood outside the operation theatre, profusely sweating.
The nurse came out, holding a little girl.
She looked just like you did on the first day I held you.
You held her in your arms. I could see myself in you. The day you were born, I was born too, as a
father.
At this moment, I was born again. She became the centre of my life.
I promised myself to treat her like a princess until the end of my life.
Can I see her once just like that, play with her, for one last time?
Today, I stand here, getting close to my grave, dumbstruck with tears of sorrow.
The ground beneath my feet seems as brittle as glass.
The walls of this old-age home suffocate me.
I am grateful for all the empathy and care I receive here, but can that replace your love that I’m
craving for?
I appreciate every meal they cook for me, but none of that is subsiding my hunger for your presence.
I stand here, another step closer to my grave, dumbstruck with tears of extreme pain.
Confusion clouding my mind, I’m questioning myself…
Which promise did I leave unfulfilled?
Did I fail you as a father?
Did I fail as a human being?
Can you answer me, for one last time, before the ground under my feet parts and pulls me in my
grave?