Misery of Past - Season 3 Bonus

- Suhani Gupta

When I was doing some research for writing this essay, I first went online and read some life-changing experiences that other people had shared. I wanted to know what it meant for others and what it did for them. Popular choices included conquering a fear, skydiving, or even something like falling in love. While I agree that these moments can be surreal and lead to tremendous self-growth, I never really considered them life-changing. I never really resonated with the idea that doing something adventurous or something new could have lasting impacts on your life.

Maybe I had this opinion because I had never had an epochal experience. But, in retrospect, I have had a life-changing experience that has changed me in more ways than one.

It all started when I went for a precautionary echocardiogram. A doctor did not recommend it, and I was sure it would be nothing. But when the results came back, I discovered that I had life-threatening tachycardia. It is highly unlikely for someone my age, but the test still indicated it. And I was told that it is a chronic and severe condition that can be managed but not completely cured in a few cases. At that moment, I felt the world around me crumbling. I had been having symptoms that suggested a heart condition for a long time, but nobody thought it would be something serious. I still remember the day I found out about it. Everything just felt numb and normal. Maybe because I had not processed the situation at that moment, but when reality hit me, I realized how different things would be from now on.

Prescription pills and frequent hospital visits were probably going to be my life now. I was depressed for days. I kept thinking about why certain things happened and why I could not do anything to fix them. I was also going through a harsh breakup during that time, and I could not help but wonder why so much happened all at once and why am I going through this. But as all those thoughts ran through my mind, I realized something: We’re all going to die. As harsh as this may sound, there was a time before the human race existed, and there’s going to be a time after that. And the more daunting part is that we never knew when our final day was going to be. When I had this little epiphany, I realized that I didn’t have a lot of time. I don’t have a lot of time to start working on myself and becoming a better version of myself. At that moment, I didn’t know it, but this was the turning point in my life.

I thought about everything that scared me and started working it out. I was terrified of being vulnerable about my breakup. It was scary even to admit that I was sad because of a heartbreak. But I realized that willing to be vulnerable is essential for growth. You cannot heal what you hide. I started talking about how I was feeling and started confiding in my close friends. For the first time, I thought that I was dealing with my pain head-on rather than avoiding it. I worked through my feelings and eventually forgave my ex for whatever part he played in our breakup.

That was a big thing for me, but I felt so liberated. After that, I began to see so many positive changes.

My second fear was the fear of being judged. I did not want anyone to look down on me, and validation from others mattered a lot. But as I was healing from everything


that had happened, I realized that whenever I seek external validation, I give others power over my thoughts. So, I started spending some time alone, thinking deeply about certain things. I decided that I would not let other people define my self-worth. This is an important lesson. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how you perceive yourself. Do you like whom you see in the mirror? And if you do, then good for you! Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Developing this mindset gave me a lot of confidence. I began changing the shy girl image that I had and became more outgoing and independent. I worked on my social anxiety and gave new people a chance.

All this only happened because of the one thing my illness taught me. It made me realize that all I have is now and that if I do not change anything, nothing will change.

That is an important lesson. It all boils down to the fact that the best thing a life- altering event can teach you is the longevity of life


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